Cup: FAUX Football's Championship
is FAUX Football's "Hall of Fame." This page honors the history of the
Fantasy Association of Undrafted X-Athletes football league. It records the championships,
noteworthy performances, and other accomplishments of the league's members, while
providing historical perspective of our venerable league as a whole, including
spin-off and cousin leagues.
To jump to a particular wing
of the Page of Fame, select an option from the pulldown menu below:
FAUX Champions Combined regular season and postseason records shown
Champion to be determined
1 - Franchise now Tomales Bay
Trichinosis; 2 - Franchise split into two
new franchises: Vera Cruz Vipers and Phoenix Femmes Fatale; 3 - Franchise now defunct; 4
- Franchise now known as Sioux City Sirens; 5
- Franchise now known as Las Vegas Hitmen; 6
- Franchise now known as Baltimore Buzzsaws; 7
- Franchise now known as Whiskeytown Wharfrats; 8-
Franchise now known as Manila Folders; 9 -
Franchise now known as Phoenix Femmes Fatale; 10 -
Franchise now known as Donegal Doom; 11 -
Franchise now known as Cucamonga Crapshoots; 12 -
Franchise now Vera Cruz Vipers; 13 -
Franchise now Tasmania Devils
Percentage Grey text
indicates defunct franchise
- Petaluma War Pigs, est. 1990 (150 - 55 - 3)
6 - Cucamonga
Crapshoots (Week 7 through Week 12, 1999)
Defunct FAUX Franchises
football currently consists of 14 teams, only one team has less than 6 years experience
in the league. In fact, 8 of the present-day owners were charter FAUX members,
representing 7 of the league's 12 charter franchises. (Chicago Chick Conspiracy's
co-owners took control of their own teams in 1991). Despite the steady participation
of the current ownership, FAUX football has seen the rise and fall of several
franchises. This honor roll pays tribute to our missing and fallen comrades...
A member of FAUX's prestigious class of 1992, Bedrock
entered the FAUX Football League along with the Tasmania Devils and Sioux City
Sirens. The Ninerstones went 8-6 in their first season, earning a playoff berth
as a wildcard. Since that promising debut, however, the team found the going a
bit tougher. After a five year absence from the postseason tournament, the club
matched their original 8-6 mark in 1997 and earned their second wildcard berth.
In 1999, behind a triumvirate that comprised of QB Peyton Manning, RB Emmitt Smith,
and WR Terrell Owens, the 'Stones jumped off to a 9-1 start, finishing 9-5 and
capturing their first division title. In 1999, The Ninerstones enjoyed the distinction
of being the only team to defeat the eventual champion Petaluma War Pigs, preventing
the perennial powerhouse from playing a perfect season. With the drafting of rookie
quarterback Peyton Manning in 1998, the Ninerstones had established themselves
as an upper tier team, In their last five seasons, with Manning at the helm, the
team went 40-30 (.571), which was among the leagues strongest winning percentages
for that five-year period. Bedrock set a franchise high mark for wins in 1999
(9-5), and matched that record the following season.The Ninerstones had the distinction
of playing in the same city and under the same name for their entire tenure.
Franchise Regular Record
Slate Industries Park at Candlerock Point
Colors: Crimson and Gold
Name: Bedrock Ninerstones (1992 - 2003)
Percentage: .454 (70 - 82 - 2)
1999 Camp Lejeune
Voltron the Magnificent, Intergalactic
Emporer Bernie Oyharcabal, General Manager
An aptly named franchise, the only thing predictable
about charter league member Cucamonga was its unpredictability. Reportedly owned
by Voltron the Magnificent, Intergalactic Emporer, day-today management of the
team was handled everyone's favorite Basque, Bernie Oyharcabal. Oyharcabal's unorthodox
draft style became the stuff of FAUX legend, and the Crapshoots fielded some strong
clubs, including two playoff teams (1991 and 1998), during their tenure. In both
their playoff seasons the franchise began their season with an impressive 5-0
mark. Their best regular season record was posted after the 1998 season, when
Cucamonga finished 8-6. Always dangerous, the Crapshoots proved to be "Giant
Killer" of sorts, often humbling strong front-runners. Originally named the
Arlington Argonauts, Oyharcabal's team compiled an 18-22 (.450) record under that
banner. They were renamed the Cucamonga Crapshoots in 1993. The loss of this franchise
creates a large void in FAUX Football; Bernie's long and fun-loving participation
in FAUX Football is fondly remembered.
Franchise posted a respectable 4-9-0
record in its expansion season. Though competitive, 244 cumulative points scored
was the second lowest one-season point total in FAUX history; in Game 8, became the first FAUX
franchise to suffer a shut out (to the Alcatraz Annihilators, 21 - 0).
Finished fifth place in AIDS Conference
with 3 - 10 record, ahead of only Athens Axes and Modesto Mutants, respectively,
in overall league standings.
A quick nod to
a couple of FAUX's known spin-off leagues...
FAUX's Pee Wee
League (1999) was our answer to NFL Europe...our "developmental"
league featuring owners between 8 and 10 years of age. Maybe this was more like
our version of the Extreme Football League, as it has gone the same way.
Electric Football League (1988- ) founded by the
FAUX commish in 1988 as Everex Football League, this was the first league
to use a version of the scoring method developed by FAUX's commissioner and founder.
The EFL lasted longer than good old Everex...
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